1. I’m a beautician, not a magician. I can give you Gisele Bundchen’s haircut, but I cannot give you her face.

2. Come at least five minutes early. If you’re running late, please call ahead. Show some basic respect. This is a business – not all fun and games.

3. Don’t ask me to “Squeeze You In,” when I am already booked with other guests. I’d be taking time and effort away from other clients. They wouldn’t like that – and neither would you.

4. Cosmetology school doesn’t teach about counter transference, projection, negative reinforcement, or personality disorders. If you’re looking for a therapist, all I have is a comb and an opinion.

5. Some women think that if they keep their hair all one length like it was in high school, people will still think that they are in high school. Guess what? You’re not! As you get older, you need to soften the lines around your face. Layers are the magic remedy.

6. Bodies and hair change as hormones change. If your hair is dry, brittle, listless or not holding the color the way it used to – see a doctor. If you’re hair isn’t overprocessed, you could be pregnant or menopausal.

7. A trim is not “just” a trim. It requires all of my expertise, skill, time and knowledge. Would you say to your doctor, “it’s just a leg,” or to your dentist, “it’s just a tooth.”

8. That single bill you have always given your shampoo person isn’t doing them any favors. A dollar bill doesn’t buy anything anymore. If your hair is long, you should tip at least $3.

9. If you want to buy a bottle of color and do your own hair, be prepared to suffer the consequences.

10. Some clients will say, “cut my hair just like you did last time.” This baffles me. How am I supposed to remember how exactly I cut your hair the last time? I have had hundreds of clients, and the average length between appointments is 6-8 weeks. If you want a carbon copy of the cut you had last time, take a picture and show me.

11. Why do you think a child’s haircut should cost less than yours? Kids kick. Kids scream. Kids don’t sit still. It’s still an intense experience, even if their bodies are smaller.

12. Standing all day on my feet, and using a blowdryer and combs takes it’s toll.

13. We see women at their worst. Their hair is wet, they have no make-up on, they have foils in their hair. There is nothing for them to hide behind, so they tell us everything. The truth is, I don’t really care what you do – I only care about your hair.